TweetBeen a few days since i’ve posted anything, but a friend of mine on Twitter, @taylahmaid, wrote me a note telling me that She was not feeling her sissy lately.  In fact, she went on to say that she was kind of out of the scene all together. Wasn’t sure why and she said that perhaps i could use this topic for a blog update. Perhaps, she said i could write about how to get back into the scene. So i thought about it for a little while now, because i really like Taylah, and wanted to thoughtfully approach this subject in such a way that perhaps it would help her and others with the same feelings.

One thing she mentioned specifically, was that she did not really have a Domme in her life, and in fact she had only limited contact with Dominant Women and had never been “owned” for any lengthly periods. That statement stuck out a little and it seems a good place to start. sissies should be aware of who they are, themselves, and where they are coming from within their own history. Being a sissy and being owned, or more to the point being submissive, are two unrelated things.  Just because one likes wearing feminine clothing, likes soft silk caressing their skin, or the feelings associated with being feminine does not necessarily mean one is transgendered. Being transgendered, of course, is a subject in and of itself. My point being that those feelings, in and of themselves d not make a person submissive. Tere are all kinds of submissive men, and women for that matter, that are not interested in cross dressing or are they transgendered. They live their lives as they were born, in the gender they were born with, but are submissive. It took me a long time to work through my issues in this regard.

With me, for example, even though i have not gone out and got implants, although i probably should do that, i am probably transgendered. Or at least have the feeling that i might be. i feel like at heart i am female, but that is not a subject that can be wrapped up in a few short sentences. Therefore, i don’t need someone to “force” me to drew act that way. i know who i am.But i absolutely love women and everything about them. The way they dress, obviously, the feminine things they do, that not only define them as Women, but that they all seem to like to do to make feel more feminine.

Lastly, a bit of sensible advice. So not pick, if You are looking for a Dominant soul in your life, someone for whom you are not up to the task. When i attempted to get Goddess Nikki’s attention, i knew She was experienced and didn’t have a lot of time to train someone right from scratch. But i had been trained to a certain extent already. Se was able to take me from that point and further train me to be an aid to Her in Her daily life. Both in terms of service an to keep Her amused. Perhaps a good way to start is with a site that shows the profiles of many Dominant Females, such as allfemdomemes. Another site, We Whip Ass, is on the opposite side of the spectrum. The Dominant Ladies on that site are no-nonsense Ladies in the traditional sense. And lastly, but far from least, is the Dominant soul who did my original training and is the maker of the Exobelt chastity that i wear, Lady Jennifer Anderson. She can be contacted at http://www.exobelt.com  With dedication and a realistic and serious attempt, one can find, if that is one’s calling, the Dominant Lady that turns dreams into reality.

TweetGoddess Nikki returned from Vegas last week and from what She tells me, She had a great time.  The whole family was out there, and Her son is still out there, as he has moved to further his education. That was the reason for the trip in the first place. But beside the move there was some time for some fun.

She ended up making it to the Foot Party for one thing. She and WebGod renewed some old acquaintances and met some folks She has been talking to on Twitter and elsewhere. Also did get some foot love from what i understand. Upset it wasn’t from me.

Also had some time for some other Vegas fun. Walking the strip, eating out (no not that kind) dinning at some nice restaurants, and relaxing a little away from Her internet interests. But also for the same reason everyone else that goes there, to gamble, She and WebGod did some of their own gambling on the strip, and some spots off the strip that they know about from their time living there. And, She took home a new puppy, named Bella, that She got in route.

In spite of that it was not Goddess Nikki that was broke, as the title of this blog update suggests. Instead it was Her sissy slave that ended up that way. For one thing i always supply the gambling stash, so it is my money that She uses to gamble. But i also supply other money, as well as some other supplies, that She uses while She is traveling. And by the time the dust settled it was about $1700 that She went through.

Tweeti was asked that question by @lovesdurtysox. Think it may be hard for most of us to narrow it down because we love everything feminine, obviously, and there are so mant styles and so few days to wear them. lol We just can’t wait to try them all. Especially perhaps new styles to see what we look like, how it feels, and what kind of reaction we can get. And that is especially true of sissy slaves. Often my look, and my perspective, changes as Goddess Nikki decides what direction She is taking me. Originally i was a frilly sissy slave. Even did Frilly Friday picture shoots. Many of these are posted on my web. But She quickly tired of that. Some of the reason being who She was training.

Goddess Nikki decided that i was nothing more than a slut and should dress accordingly. i began to wear short skirs, crop tops, little thong and string bikini panties, see thru sheer and revealing bras and whatever else it takes to show me off during picture and video shoots.Since i was being honest with myself, and Her, that i was, indeed, a little slut, my dress, right down to my lingerie, had that look and is still that way today.

Many sissies, i think, just like to get all dolled up, and revel in being a Woman. Attending to every detail and nuance as if all Women sit around all day thinking how great it is to be female and how feminine they can look. While i’m sure that Women do appreciate being female, especially at certain times, they do not spend every minute of every day thonking about being a girl. They just are. So most of the time they just dress comfortably and casually

i personally like to be as real as possible. So i dress as casually and comfortably as i can, while still being feminine, as i imagine a gender Woman would. So what i like is to know around the house in a bra and panties. i always make sure that the bra and panty match and also match my nail polish. Yes, i know that most Women at home and out of sight may not ever go to tht extreme, but that is how i give in to my sissy.

Another thing i like, though, is the slinky feel of a silk chemise. Sometimes i will slip into a slinky, shinny, silky soft nighty and wear that around and then into bed. It feels so soft against my skin,

TweetYesterday i got the chance to meet up with my Goddess on cam. What a thrill that always is. It is my happy duty to entertain and amuse Her, of course. So, naturally, i began with one of my strip shows, so my Goddess could see Her sissy first hand. i slowly stripped off my slutty outfit, piece by piece, while i gyrated to the music. Wiggling and shaking my big tits for Her, like a sissy is supposed to do.

When i was stripped down to nothing, that didn’t stop me from going further when i stripped myself of my plug—to replace it with a bigger one.  And then a bigger one yet. i continued dancing wearing nothing but my sheer bra and my big plug. i began to ram myself with the big plug keeping time to beat of the music. The big plug always hurts at first when i remove it and then when it goes back up me. But i don’t mind suffering for Her. Eventually i get so hot the pain feels good.

She watched for awhile, but as a Goddess is likely to do, barking out  orders of what She wanted to see me do. First, on how to take the plug, making me ram it in and then hold it in there and then take it out again, only to have me ram it in again. She wanted to take some screen shots and i found myself becoming a cam model, posing with the plug at varying stages of penetrating my fuck hole. It was done very slowly, almost in slow motion, as She took Her pictures. More than once i had to stop at the point that my hole was the most spread out its widest for Her. Next, and this was the best part, as i was instructed to stroke for Her. She would have me stroke, and then suddenly stop, only to start again. It was pretty hot. Finally She got bored with it all, had me cum and then eat it as She snapped more screen shots.

The bottom line, and i use that term deliberately since there was money involved, was that She both charged me and taxed me for my pleasure. By the time all of the cum settled it was a little pricey and She made up the balance She had decided She needed for Her Vegas experience.

TweetThe other shoe dropped. Goddess Nikki informed me that She was going to Vegas for a few days near the end of the month. Ostensibly, She is going to help Her son move there. But all who know Her, know that She and Her family love Vegas and the Vegas lifestyle. And since gambling is part of the Vegas lifestyle, Goddess Nikki and Web God Mike are going to be making enough time to go to the casino. And guess what. Every time my Goddess ends up in Vegas my wallet ends up being lighter. Since gambling is unfortunately most a losing proposition She like me to provide the money so She doesn’t end up losing Her own. If She makes money, She will have much more to blow on other things or later when She get home.

She could have just ordered me to send it, but what fun is that right? Beside, She was not giving me much time to raise what She needed. So She tried to give me some incentive, i’m assuming, to do it. So what She did was to put me in positions where She knew that i would end up owing cum taxes. The first, and easiest thing to do is to allow me to cam with TS Nitrilla. She is gorgeous and incredibly kinky considering Her penchant for fetish play. She can get me so incredibly hot that i will do almost anything to get Her to take out that fucking hot cock of Hers and stroke it. If you’ve been reading my blog, you already know the routine. i do a slutty strip and let it morph into something more graphic. Like fucking my hole, or in this case both fucking my hole and stroking my own stick. Goddess Nikki likes me to get so desperate that i will do whatever i have to do to be allowed to see Her long hard hot beautiful cock. Nitrilla likes to see me suffer with the bigger plugs for Her (She is dominant too) and eventually after She has had enough foreplay She has a massive orgasm.  Sometimes Her orgasms seem to take ten minutes before She calms down. It is awesome to watch!   After getting done with this session i owed Goddess N over $300 for cum taxes.

At the end of the long night, when i was exhausted and full of cum, Nitrilla took this screen shot of us on Skype. Goddess Nikki, of course was not satisfied with that but it was a start at least.

TweetIt’s Independence Day!  Yes it’s July 4th and it’s a day we celebrate our independence. But it is also, for some unexplained reason, Independence Day for me as well. Goddess Nikki has suddenly decided to release me. Did not say that i could make any fireworks, but She did say that i could unlock my chastity cage. Have a feeling something is up.

So i took a few pics to celebrate the occasion. i posted a few of them in the free area as i do on most holidays so people that Goddess Nikki knows can see what She is doing with me. But as the picture shoot continued, it got a little more graphic, and i took some really good pics of my hard stick. i wasn’t able to touch it, per Her instructions, but my stick got hard anyway, or maybe because of it. It looked good with my cute little ruffled skirt. So it You want to see what it look liked, cum inside, as i posted the entire gallery in my members area.

TweetNoticed on Twitter the other day that Goddess Nikki was talking to a slave wanna-be. Yes, that’s right. Goddess Nikki is on Twitter, and one can receive Her updates, keep up with Her activities, and see Her tweets by following @EroticNikki.  And on this particular day She was attempting to explain to this fantasy slave what is involved in serving Her. What She expects. That there must be a total committment. And lastly She was explaining about punishments.

The slave (and i call him that for ease of writing as he obviously had no clue what was involved) was fasciniated by this slave being punishment. She was explaining, as best as one can in 140 characters or less that tweets allow. Punishment, She said, was necessary to insure that the slave always gave the best effort possible. She went on to explain that even with a well trained slave, like me, (that made me feel great) that i had to be punished from time to time. That’s why i was so well trained now. What Goddess Nikki said next, i’m sure, was beyond this slave’s understanding, at that point of his life’s journey, but was very enlightening about not only the subject of punishment, but also is illustrative about what it takes to serve Goddess Nikki.

Although i’ve mentioned it before, i haven’t really said much else about the fact tht i’m plugged.  As i’m sure everyone who knows me, by now knows that i am a chastity slave. After being caged long enough i was re-trained to use fuckhole. Then when i began to really like and need my hold filed, Goddess Nikki plugged me so that i could no longer satisfy myself by fucking my hole either. It took about a month to work up to being permanently plugged. She really teased me through the process of learning to be plugged until i just thrived on it. i began to feel, and still feel, that Goddess Nikki has a direct link to my most sexual area and in my mind. It’s for all that watch Star Trek, like being part of the collective. Although this collective is sexual, and it’s all good. All should seek to be assimilated.

But the point i’m trying to make is that it took a total committment to do this for my Goddess. i never thought i could do it really, and it was a struggle. But Goddess Nikki demanded it, and simply expected that i would not only do it for Her, but want to do it for Her. And like it, if She told me i did. She was right. i just can’t disappoint Her in any way. It means so much to me that She is happy with my effort. She really does enjoy Her control over Her subbies and me in particular. Likes to see to what lengths i will go to actually prove my devotion.So i struggled through the process until now i thrive on being plugged. i’m proud of being caged and plugged for Goddess Nikki.

Now back to the slave punishment, my Goddess was trying to explain to this would be slave. Sometimes She still has to punish me if i “fuck up” as She calls it. Then She went on to explain to this poor newbie trying to grasp it all that now She actually can punishe me by making me remove the plug for a few days. It’s that paradox that all true submissives seek. If we have a full committment and have allowed our owners to take control of our minds we cannot bear the thought of the absence of their voices in our heads. Goddess Nikki is that special Woman who can and does take that control. Not by force, but by one’s own desire to please Her.

TweetDid anyone know that i have to actually work out to be able to do what i do. lol It actually takes a little effort to keep my girlish figure and also be prepared to handle my sissy duties. So down in my basement there are a number of devices that help make that possible. Upstairs i work out by practicing my dancing for my cam shows. But down here i try to tone and also stretch out

As you can see, i am in my little home gym getting ready for my workout. The first order of business is always dressing so that one can move freely and not have their routine altered by restrictive clothing.So now that i’m ready to go, i start my sissy work out on the ass stretcher. This device also has a work out for swaying hips. Something a sissy needs for sure.The idea on the ass stretcher is to be able to get my ass, well actually my fuck hole all stretched and ready to take whatever i need to up my hole to please Goddess Nikki or make money on cam with my slutty persona. The idea is to get successively bigger plugs in you. Just like lifting different size weights or going longer distances. Then hip swaying can be practiced, while also loosening and stretching my hole at the same time. After a few hours of stretching practice i am ready for anything that comes my way in my sissy life as Goddess Nikki’s slave. You can watch me get into shaping in my video clip entitled Sissy Workout.

TweetGoddess Nikki is going to undergo some medical procedures that are going to keep Her off the net for a few weeks. In fact, while She is re-cooping She will not be feeling all that well. Obviously, She will need a Nurse. Since i am Goddess N’s personal slave, it would be appropriate for moi to act in that capacity. But She is well cared for, medically, by a skilled physician and his staff. A physician’s office that knows all about me. Yes, that’s right, while She was there, and my Goddess always causes quite a stir everywhere She goes, She casually told them all about her sissy slave. Described me, told them about me. Even showed them pics of me that She keeps on Her phone.

The doctor was fascinated and asked all kinds of questions about me. He would probably be happy to feminize me. Maybe give me the implants i should be compelled to get. lol  But all were quite intrigued by Her hold on me. But they are skilled professionals and as such had Goddess N’s medical situation well in hand. So they didn’t need me as a medical Nurse. They sure didn’t trust me with a needle in my hand.

It can clearly be seen in the picture at the left that i am way too happy with the needle in my hand. Although i do take a striking pose, don’t you think? Rather what they all had in mind, at Goddess Nikki’s suggestion, was a financial Nurse. Someone who would assist Goddess Nikki in paying the bill. It was a little hefty, what medical bill isn’t, but i got it paid in a very timely manner. In fact, early. Goddess Nikki was impressed with my effort and ability to come up with that amount so soon. i took this picture gallery to amuse Her and tweet about it, as well.

TweetIt’s Easter Time and Krissy the Easter Bunny has sent her Easter baskets of gifts to her Goddess Erotic Nikki. Also sent candy to Lady Jenny. Want to wish them both a Happy Easter, as well as all the folks at We Whip Ass.  Posted some Easter pics there as well as on Twitter. Used Tumblr for the more graphic ones.  BTW did i ever share the fact that i have a tumblr account. You can follow me there to see my slutty offerings.